As a pastor is ordained and / or installed into pastoral ministry, one of the traditions in my denomination is for fellow pastors to lay hands on that person and speak a word of encouragement and to offer a biblical verse. One of my favorite verses at such events has been, “Jesus wept.” I would then say, “As our Lord did, you too need to cry with your people when they cry, laugh joyfully with them when they are celebrating. We need to bring our whole self into the work of ministry.”
Over the course of my years as a pastor, I was blessed and privileged to serve as a mentor for a number of brother pastors. A mentor is an experienced and trusted advisor who conveys to the mentee knowledge, practical skill and especially things that have to do with affect. The latter has to do with the feelings and attitudes with which we approach our tasks.
In pastoral ministry, things that have to do with “affect” are often made to seem less important. In my own world of ministry, my teachers have warned me that feelings can be deceptive. That feelings can incorrectly color our understanding. That feelings and attitudes can lead one astray. And, indeed, that is the case!
But isn’t that precisely the reason why we need to take affect into account – especially when entering a mentoring role? We need to not only model, but also convey affect and passion in a positive way. To divorce affect from mentoring as one leads would be to leave the mentee on their own to deal with the feelings and attitudes that are so much a part of our human nature.
For example, when one reads the Psalms, one can almost sense the gut-wrenching turmoil that was afflicting David. One can also soar with David to exuberant heights as we read the joyful praises he offered to our God. We enter into fear with Peter as he sank into the Galilean waters and breathe a sigh of relief as he takes Jesus’ outstretched hand to lift him up to surface of sea. One can identify with Paul’s profound guilt for having persecuted the Church and feel the relief of Christ’s forgiveness as Paul says, “Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God for our Lord Jesus Christ!”
I would classify myself as one who is last and least - my identity. Some may call me on this and say that I have self-esteem issues. Not so – in fact, I have a struggle with the age-old sin of pride. My last and least self-view has to do with Whom I am scripturally convinced is first and most – our amazing Lord! Jesus, who being in very nature God, humbled Himself – even to death on the cross. Why? – So that the God the Father would receive all the glory. And, in turn, God the Father exalted Jesus. That God grants us to wear that beautiful Christ righteousness is humbling and exhilarating at the same time!
And I'm blessed to feel the emotions associated with that identity - my identity in Christ. These feelings are part of what a God-initiated relationship with us brings. It is certainly not proof, which is only revealed by the Spirit's work through the Word of God. But it is a taste of the grandeur and love of God and of the mercy He grants through his Son. Isn't that part of what we see when we read the accounts of the Apostles Peter, Paul, and John - their being convinced of their own depth of unrighteousness and of the amazing righteousness granted them through Jesus? This, I believe needs to be shared as part of our Christian reality.
There are many ways to do this. As a mentor, I believe we need to teach affect… by sometimes taking a follower role – even to young mentee, showing humility. I believe a mentor needs to teach affect by allowing a mentee to make decisions, even wrong ones, that may lead to the mentor having to take the lumps for that decision. I believe a mentor needs to model affect so that that the mentee may learn that affect is not in-and-of itself to be avoided, but rather showing that through affect we can glorify God. In short, a mentor needs to find a way to convey a godly sense of respect for things that move us, and teach, as well, how to filter those feelings through the witness of the Word.
So, take on affect and feel deeply! Here's to a Christianity that is not afraid of “feeling!”
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